Hello,

It has been a while, but this is a self reflection from my current state of being a Christian. From what I can observe, I don’t love God enough. Before I truly became a Christian and gave my life to Christ, I was lost. I was a seventeen year old boy, lost in the world, lost of identity, no friends, depressed. Then, I started reading my Bible more and that was when my life had a purpose. I found Christ and my entire purpose. My entire purpose was to serve God. I was so happy and I wanted to love God more. I could not stop telling everyone about God, I could not stop reading my Bible. The joy I had, I honestly cannot explain, but I was honestly so happy I found God. I drifted away again, saved in Christ, but not holy to God. Everything became so sad and hard. The things that I did before when I see it in people, I became very aware they are not good. I then begin to pass my judgement, forgetting God’s grace changed me. I begin to condemn people, forgetting I was once like them. I became very miserable to people, thinking am the centre of God’s attention. I didn’t know all these at first, but I was a Christian and I hate people. God’s love brought me to realise that I am a sinner that needed help. I have been instructed to love people, why do I hate people then? Why am I condemning people when God’s Mercy did not condemn me? why? why? my own type of Christian was miserable. God loved us and commanded us to love. Jesus loved everyone in the world and did everything for us. If Jesus did not love us, He would not die for us and I will never be saved. Why do I hate people? Why was I so bitter towards people? These are the questions I asked myself everyday. If I don’t love people enough, then I am miserable and not obeying God. If I don’t love people enough, then I don’t love God. Jesus said in the book of John a lot that If you love me, keep my commandment. I need to obey God. I can only obey God by following His commandment. I need to obey God’s commandment. I need to love people more. Keep me in your prayers. I hope this helps a person too.